Sep 8th, 2020
Join our co-hosts, Louise, Laura, Sara, Nikki, and Kim as they reflect on the themes that came up during Season One, beginning with how they all, at some point in their lives felt ‘other than. ’
Sara shares a quote that sets off a spirited discussion on the hardest step is step zero to one.
Kim shares her philosophy that we all start at ‘zero’ every day, but we often don’t realize that we’re moving on auto-pilot and making choices out of habit instead of intentionality.
The discussion takes off as the group talk about regardless if you’re talking about moving your body, your career, your home, how taking that first step from zero to one can be the most terrifying and yet, the most freeing.
They discuss how taking that step energetically opens the door on your journey, allowing those things we no longer need to fall away, and drawing experiences, people, and places to you.
This leads to a rousing discussion about Lumberjacks and Lipstick, led by Laura, that you won’t want to miss.
Louise and Sara share what having this community means to them and Nikki lets you know where to find them during their downtime and teases up surprises on social media that you won’t want to miss!
[00:00:00] Louise: "I don't wanna" is way different than "I can't."
[00:00:03] Laura: Hell, I can wear any lipstick I want.
[00:00:05] Sara: So, I know where my lipstick story comes from.
[00:00:08] Nikki: Lumberjacking is not my jam.
[00:00:11] Kim: This episode brought to you by The Lumberjack Association.
[00:00:19] Laura: Hi, I'm Laura.
[00:00:21] Sara: Hi, I'm Sara
[00:00:22] Kim: And I'm Kim.
[00:00:23] Nikki: This is Nikki,
[00:00:25] Louise: And I’m Louise.
[00:00:27] Kim: Hi, and welcome to The Best Parts Podcast, where we invite you to pull up a chair and think about your best parts, which are all your parts.
[00:00:36] Nikki: Hello everyone. This is Nikki, and I'm inviting you to pull up a chair and join us today for Episode Seven. Our very last episode of our very first season. There's a lot of ground to cover today. So, let's just dig right in. We as a group had quite a bit of discussion about how we wanted to wrap up our first season. We've learned a lot of things had a bit of redos, struggled, fell down, popped up, gotten excited, discouraged, and had all the feels.
[00:01:04] Nikki: It has been a journey that brought us to today. We've also started discussing what's coming around the bend for season two. So stay tuned for that. Ultimately, since I'm back at the moderator microphone, I was given the responsibility of figuring out what the heck we still had to say. And as part of that awesome responsibility, I just went through and binged all of our past episodes.
[00:01:24] Nikki: We have a few things that keep showing up for us this season, and I'm just going to list them out after listening to all of our amazing episodes, which still made me laugh and have fun. Many of us came from a place of feeling "wrong," or "other than” and we just didn't fit in. The necessity of starting where we are right now to intentionally move life forward, going to say the next one with a big gulp, because we spend over 90,000 hours at work and it still hits me in the gut to think about that.
[00:01:52] Nikki: Reinvention requires us to consistently make conscious and intentional choices that move us in a new direction. Taking the first step creates momentum. There is power in saying yes to what lights us up. We have one body in this life and we are responsible for it. Integrating all the who's and the roles we exist in allow us to experience the fullness of life and live holistically.
[00:02:14] Nikki: We have a unique view, unique limitations, and unique passions, and that's all a great thing. There is power in knowing our parts, leaning into a space where we are safe to be ourselves accepted as we are today, encouraged to keep going, and held when we struggle is transformational. And of course, all the parts are the best parts.
[00:02:34] Nikki: Oh, and spirit animals.
[00:02:35] Kim: Yeah. The spirit animals.
[00:02:38] Sara: I saw something the other day. And this came up with a group that I'm running this week too, is you said the, something about that taking the first step. And I saw a quote that said, "the most difficult step is zero to one." And I think that's a theme that's come up throughout is just getting started sometimes is the most important step for us.
[00:02:58] Sara: Uh, and we've seen that through all of the things through all of our themes throughout the entire season is just getting started. The momentum and a body in motion stays in motion. That thing that I came up with.
[00:03:09] Nikki: Sara's most famous quote. Yes. Yeah.
[00:03:12] Sara: So, I don't know. That's just one that really stands out for me.
[00:03:15] Nikki: Why do you think it's so hard, Sara?
[00:03:17] Sara: Um, fear. I think a lot of people are afraid to start, like whether it's with movement or working with a life coach or decide to talk to their parts or change a career. I think its fear of what if and what if it doesn't go the way I want? And that very first step can be really scary. Like we talked about jumping off the cliff or starting our parasailing, right.
[00:03:39] Nikki: Kim's stomach dropped.
[00:03:43] Sara: So, I just think that's what it is. It's fear. And once you start moving towards a goal, I think it gets easier and easier.
[00:03:49] Louise: Do you think that we ever skip over that step?
[00:03:52] Kim: No.
[00:03:53] Nikki: Do you think we skipped from do you mean like maybe go zero to two?
[00:03:57] Louise: Yeah, maybe it's zero to two because I was just thinking when we talk about being intentional, it's really understanding that you're there at zero. It's being fully present and knowing that first step is, although very scary, is something that you really want to do. There's a connection there. I feel like sometimes in my life, I guess I've gotten to a place where I'm on step, like five or six.
[00:04:25] Louise: And I don't remember that step zero to one. I don't remember being intentional to take that path. Like I think we do it in our relationships. We do it in our careers. We do it financially that we get to a point where we haven't been present to make that intentional zero to one. We've it's, maybe something gets handed to us, that promotion, or all of a sudden there's that relationship, that person that it's behind you in line. And it's sometimes I, I was just curious if it ever felt like you weren't present when you went from zero to one?
[00:05:08] Kim: Oh, then yes, because I think that we start personally, I think we start at zero every day we get up. Every day gives us a new opportunity to take that new step. But it's very often unintentional steps that we take. And we talked about this before, right? Is all the unintentional steps we take every day and all the unintentional choices we make every day? But that intentional like, "Oh, this is where I want to put my feet on the path." Not just wandering and ending up on the path. That happens to us every day because of these unintentional choices.
[00:05:40] Kim: Yeah. I think I take that resounding “No!" back too. In case I misunderstood the question, I thought you were asking something else, but yeah, I think that intentionality is, I think that's rare, at that when we recognize we take that first step. And I think for me, a lot of it comes from habit, how I'm used to living. This is how everybody lives, right? This is what we do. and it's just, it's personal, but it's also a societal habit. Yeah. And I think that that keeps us going on this one trajectory that making that intentional zero to one step is not as frequent.
[00:06:20] Nikki: And even like changing that zero to one step, like you said, Kim, every day is a chance to start at zero.
[00:06:27] Nikki: And so the difference between doing that step out of habit, rolling over, grabbing your phone and scrolling social media or saying today, I'm going to meditate you have to consciously choose something different if you want something different or if you are just used to saying yes to everything and everyone, and as opposed to is this really something I want to do and having that pause in there.
[00:06:50] Kim: Yeah.
[00:06:50] Sara: Yeah. I think it's about choices and we forget that we have a choice. That's something I've thought about that threads through this whole season is sometimes you just forget I do have a choice. Everything that has led me to this moment now is decision I've made or choice or trail of choices I've made.
[00:07:07] Sara: Some of them were intentional. Some of them were completely unintentional. And that's one of the things I've just really learned through this entire season is remembering when I wake up, I can choose to meditate or scroll through social media. Or I am proof you can do both every morning!
[00:07:27] Nikki: Sara's proof of a lot of things.
[00:07:28] Kim: Yes, she is. Well, and there's someone wiser than me that I believe had shared with us that we are always in choice.
[00:07:37] Nikki: Yes, it's just, is it a conscious choice or habitual, unconscious choice and recognizing that, even recognizing that, "Oh, I get to be in choice," or "How am I in choice?" That's almost the in-between of step zero and one is saying, "I get to be in choice here." So am I going to put my foot on this path or this rock as I'm crossing the river or this one?
[00:08:03] Laura: I think that was one of my favorite things that we discussed that came up in this season was that even making the decision, the choice to stay in place is also a choice and therefore still movement. It's still a conscious decision that we've made, not just, "Oh my gosh, I'm stuck," and not recognizing that we're stuck.
[00:08:25] Nikki: And then that's even scary too, or terrifying to imagine a different way of doing things. I know Kim and I had talked about this, even imagining for some people, a new way of doing things.
[00:08:39] Kim: Oh yeah. When I talk about and imagining and visioning it terrifies people. They're, "I can't even think about that because if I think about that, then it reminds me of what I'm not doing and where I am and how I am." And that for me, that hurts my heart. Because I want everybody to imagine their life, and, and I would hazard a guess that we all want everybody to have that opportunity to envision the life and have an opportunity to live the life that they are meant to live here on earth.
[00:09:12] Laura: I read this article, talking something about this, right? When you make the decision. When you actually make that decision to take that first step. And the example that was given was if I'm trying to decide if I want to be a doctor or if I want to be a lumberjack. And while I'm sitting in that indecision, there's a lot of angst there. There's a lot of not knowing, but once I actually make that call and actually start down that path, then things start lining up.
[00:09:41] Laura: And so, I think that sometimes the best thing you can do is actually make the decision. It actually starts the path. So, let's say I decide to be a lumberjack, then I'm no longer looking at medical school. I am now focusing on where do I learn how to do this? And yeah. You know, what part of the country do I need to be in? And how do I get those skills I need?
[00:10:01] Laura: And then I am on a path instead of sitting in that place of indecision. Now it doesn't mean we can't course correct. And let's say I try lumberjacking for a year, and I hate it. I'm sure there's med school still out there. It's all just an experiment, right?
[00:10:14] Nikki: I have to say, I love Laura Lively, the lumberjack.
[00:10:17] Kim: Yeah, I do too.
[00:10:17] Nikki: For the alliteration. I'm so glad that was the one you picked: doctor and lumberjack. That just made me so happy.
[00:10:25] Sara: I was wondering what the third choice was. Cause I'm like, I don't want to be either of those.
[00:10:30] Kim: I just have the song. I'm a lumberjack and I don't care.
[00:10:33] Nikki: But also, like you said, it's when you become solid in a decision, it doesn't mean it is the last and ultimate choice you will always make for the rest of your life. But the world almost opens up for you when you step into the energy of that choice.
[00:10:49] Kim: Oh my God, yes.
[00:10:50] Nikki: The whole world begins to support you as you are taking steps in the direction. It's not just about imagining and sitting in your room and waiting for the, I don't know the lumberjack school to knock on your door and say," Hey, we want you. Your choice is made." It's doing the research. It's going out and getting your boots on the ground. But then all of a sudden guideposts start popping up next to you. And you meet people who introduce you to the Lumberjack Association. And who invite you to, "Hey, come and shadow me for a day. So you can see what it's like." So, you get to go into that curiosity space that you have said yes to. And the whatever you said no to closes the door for now, but it's, and sometimes the door disappears because it really isn't something for you. But like you said, in a year, down the road, if you're like a lumberjacking is not my jam, then there are other doors.
[00:11:44] Kim: And you have the boots, as you just mentioned.
[00:11:47] Nikki: And the cute shirts and the whole situation.
[00:11:50] Sara: To know that the Lumberjack World Championships are in July 2021.
[00:11:54] Kim: There we go.
[00:11:55] Sara: You're welcome.
[00:11:56] Nikki: Where attention goes, energy flows.
[00:11:57] Laura: That's beautiful.
[00:11:58] Kim: The fascinating thing about when you put your attention somewhere, you have the opportunity to start seeing things differently. When you buy a green car, all of a sudden you notice all the green cars
[00:12:11] Nikki: Don't think about elephants.
[00:12:13] Laura: Yeah, exactly.
[00:12:15] Kim: And suddenly one will end up in your living room.
[00:12:17] Nikki: Yeah. Or you'll see it on the billboard that happens to me all the time.
[00:12:22] Louise: Yeah. And I, I think, that when we look at this imagination and this idea of dreaming and trying to discover what is possible, sometimes we get caught up in, "Oh, that's just a pipe dream, but that's not really something I could do, or that's not really made for me." I'm that's not where I can go.
[00:12:45] Nikki: Or that's too easy. I can't do it.
[00:12:47] Louise: It's too easy. Yeah.
[00:12:49] Laura: Or it's too hard.
[00:12:51] Louise: And I really love there's a quote out there somewhere. I don't know who said it, but it's something along the lines of, maybe I said it, maybe Einstein said it or maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just making this up. But this idea that to use your imagination is not necessarily a place to go where we escape reality. But really, it's a place to see what is possible to start being creative in how we think about what we do and who we are and how we show up in our lives and dream about possibility.
[00:13:23] Louise: We get stuck in this reality. "I don't have the skills. I don't have the personality. I'm, I'm not this, or I'm less than that." And stepping into what is possible allows you to take those parts to uncover what is really going on inside and connecting that to the outside world.
[00:13:47] Kim: When you start to visualize, when you start to imagine, when you start to dream is that you have this opportunity to think of all of the alternatives. And even if you land on something like becoming a lumberjack that may not actually be where you end up. You may start in lumberjacking school and end up being a park ranger because you've been introduced to something else along the way. It just opens up your world so much wider than it is which just creates so many amazing possibilities.
[00:14:18] Nikki: Perhaps the most times the word lumberjack has been used outside of a lumberjack, focused podcast.
[00:14:25] Kim: This episode brought to you by The Lumberjack Association.
[00:14:29] Louise: Can they sponsor us?
[00:14:32] Nikki: But I also love what you said, Louise, about your, you tell yourself these things and especially with your NLP background, the power of words, like "this is hard" versus "this is not easy." How do those words feel different to you? So, if you're telling yourself "I can't do this," you're going to believe those words. But that also means you have the power to use different words when you talk to yourself.
[00:14:57] Louise: Yeah, absolutely. Again, being in choice, seeing, and hearing how we talk to ourselves is part of that recognition of being intentional and how do we hold ourselves back? Just by the way we speak to ourselves. Just clearly, by the words that we use, even the words we use in conversation with others and how do we step out of that, recognizing the language, the power of language around how we communicate with ourselves? It can keep us very small.
[00:15:34] Louise: Those words we learn, come from our upbringing, comes from our past. We've heard those things said to us, or around us, and we incorporate them into our lives. I hear a lot of times this power of positivity and this idea that if I only just talk positive about something, then my life is gonna turn around and we're going to all be great.
[00:15:58] Louise: And there's a tiny bit of truth to what doors words and language open for us. And I'm not saying you go around thinking that the world is a sunshiny place when we've got all kinds of chaos and disruption and injustice in the world. I'm not saying that we turn a blind eye to that, but when we start talking about who we are and how we want to show up in the world in a way that is integrous to who we are, really are, then that starts the step, right? That's all the start of that intentional choice.
[00:16:41] Sara: Everything you just said made me think of the word hope. It made me think of focusing on what can amongst some of the things that are difficult. I think about the people in the in the past who have changed the world, it's because they saw this vision. They, you talked about like a pipe dream earlier. And I think that's the big thing is you have to have this vision of where you want to go and where you can take your life before you can start taking steps towards it. And once it becomes so clear, I think it's easier. You start realizing, "Oh, this is what I want."
[00:17:12] Sara: And that's when, if you're thinking about that green car and all you're thinking about is I can't wait to buy a green car. You're going to make choices that are going to get you to working towards getting that green car. And that's just what you made me think of is yeah, there's injustice. There's all sorts of things going on in this world that are difficult. And the way to change it is to think about what is possible.
[00:17:31] Kim: And that first step is hope very often, right? In that instance, that first step is just is it leaning into hope, leaning into changing your mindset slightly, right? It doesn't make everything else go away, but it makes the way that you respond to it different.
[00:17:50] Sara: Yeah, absolutely.
[00:17:51] Laura: I wanted to speak back to what Louise just said about things we've heard in childhood. And I think it rolls into where do we go in the future. We have these tapes or parts of us that have beliefs that we may not even realize we have. I recently purchased a new lipstick because I'm doing a lot of video.
[00:18:12] Laura: And it's darker than I normally wear. And I thought, "You can't wear dark lipstick." And so, then I thought, "Why, tell me why you can't wear dark lipstick?" And so it was interesting just to recognize that's a belief that I had that I cannot wear dark lipstick. Where did that come from? I don't know. Did I hear it somewhere when I was a child? And so I can't start making changes until I, I'm willing to take a step back and start to examine, "Where did I pick up these beliefs?" And it's freeing because what it occurred to me, is “hell I can wear any lipstick I want.”
[00:18:47] Nikki: And push back a little bit, you might not ever have an answer to where did that come from? But it also leads to the question. Do I have to believe that?
[00:18:55] Laura: Exactly. I don't know that I care where it came from, but the point is now I have this, it was an unconscious thought that I had, and now I can make the decision to, does that belief serve me?
[00:19:06] Nikki: Yeah. And recognizing that thought like, “oh, I can't wear red lipstick” and just put, okay. I guess I can't and moving through it instead of, I can't wear red lipstick,
[00:19:14] Laura: By the way, you're the reason that I decided – Nikki has this amazing red lipstick. And I thought, why can't I wear dark lipstick? So, thanks Nikki for helping me identify a belief and then question it so that I could move forward and do something I've never done in my entire 54 years.
[00:19:31] Sara: It's interesting, you talked about why can't I wear dark lipstick and I have a story when I was a child. I was the little athlete and I wanted to wear athletic clothes and I never wanted to wear my hair down or wear lipstick. And when you started talking about lipstick, it made me think about how my mom used to always say, "Why aren't you wearing lipstick?"
[00:19:47] Sara: And so, I rebelled and would refuse to ever wear lipstick. And now, like if I ever wear it, I'm like, Oh my mom's smiling. I'm not going to put that on. So, I know where my lipstick story comes from.
[00:19:58] Nikki: Yeah, you do.
[00:19:59] Sara: But it's being told you're not good enough if you don't do this and being able to know what the story is and where it's coming from, you can change the narrative. And for me, there's certain things I am good enough, and I think that's really important to change the words and the narrative. So, I love the lipstick.
[00:20:14] Laura: I also love that, what's good for, you know what works for me, doesn't have to work for you, Sara. You don't want the lipstick. You don't need the lipstick. There was a part of me that would love to wear dark lipstick, but I've never had the guts to do that. So I love the same, the same little point, it's okay if I want it and okay if you don't.
[00:20:35] Louise: As we're talking here over the last few minutes, the thing that came up for me, the word that came up for me, that I think is the doorway into noticing maybe where your stories come from, or maybe what your stories are the words, "I can't." And when we start to hear those words repeated back to us, I think it's time to take a pause and to say, "Why not?" And maybe it's more of, I don't want to, cause I don't want to do that.
[00:21:07] Nikki: And that's fine.
[00:21:08] Louise: And that's fine. But it's not, "I can't." "I don't wanna," is way different than "I can't."
[00:21:15] Kim: Well, "I don't want to," is a choice, and "I can't" is giving up any control that you have and giving that elsewhere.
[00:21:24] Sara: Can't lives on won't street. So, we say.
[00:21:28] Kim: Can't, can't lives on won't street?
[00:21:31] Sara: Yeah, so is it that you can't, or that you won't? And that's what I've looked at is, as someone says, "I can't." Maybe it's because you're not, you won't do it. You won't figure out how to do it. You just succumb to, "I can't."
[00:21:42] Nikki: And it's how "I can't" hits your brain too, because your brain believes what you say, what you tell it. And so, if you say, "Oh, I can't do that." Your brain's, "Yeah, you can't." And "I won't do that, or I choose not to, or I don't want to do that," is. "Okay. Yeah, we don't want to do that. What else can we do?" And so, to even change it to a question and say, "Do I want to do that? Is that something I'm excited about?" Let's your brain answer the question instead of telling it, this is how it is.
[00:22:15] Nikki: And so like when Laura said, "Why can't I wear dark lipstick?" Then your brain starts trying to answer that question. "Why can't I?" I don't want to, or, you know what? I was told that it was wrong. Or, and that's for my curious brain, that is what opens things up, asking those questions. It's, it's one of the gifts of coaching as well.
[00:22:35] Nikki: And being in community is having people say, "Why can't you, or why won't you?" What Sara just said, she has somebody on her team who said, "I can't do that." I fully can see you saying, "Can't lives on won't street" and having them talk about it.
[00:22:52] Kim: When we're talking about this, it's asking ourselves, "What is it that I actually really want?"
[00:22:57] Nikki: And that can be a hard question to answer if you haven't done that before.
[00:23:01] Kim: It can be incredibly difficult. And I feel like that's where that's where so many people start. I know I've been there before, where I, I can't tell you what I really want. And there I go using that word, but because I haven't taken, to circle back, I haven't taken that initial step to find the intentionality of asking myself that question, "What is it that I really want?" Because once I figure out, at least in this moment, what I really want, then I have the decision that I can make. "Do I go to a lumberjack school? Do I buy the dark lipstick? Do I buy the boots?" I get to make those choices.
[00:23:37] Sara: And a lot of us were brought up not being able to have the choice to choose what you want. You were just told what to do and what a great space to be in where you're like, wait, I have choices. I don't have to go down that path or I don't have to go to be a Ph.D because my parents think I should, I get to choose. And I think that's a place of freedom.
[00:23:56] Kim: It's a huge place of freedom.
[00:23:59] Nikki: It is. But it feels like a trap at first, if you haven't ever done that, because -
[00:24:04] Kim: I felt that trap. I felt it close. Yeah.
[00:24:08] Nikki: Yeah. It was like a trap because, for me, I've always just followed the flow. Okay. Here, let's go there. This feels good. Let's do this. And I had a moment when I was in the RV with my dog, traveling, living this dream because I love being out and exploring and meeting people. And I didn't feel cut off from the flow, but I almost felt it was, "Okay, you choose." And I was like, "What?" I wasn't feeling pulled in any direction. I wasn't feeling like that openness in a specific way. It was, everything was open and I had a breakdown. Thankfully, I was in a campground in a beautiful place for a few days, but I was trying to figure out what was next. And I was sobbing, and I have the sweetest dog who just comes and leans against me because he's a giant boy. And he said, "I'm here. What do you need?"
[00:25:00] Nikki: But I was sobbing. I would look at the map. I would point at something and say, "Nope, that's not it." And I had to learn how to figure out what I wanted, where I wanted to go, and what I wanted to do. And it felt so disempowering at first because I had no idea how to do that.
[00:25:21] Kim: Good for you for doing it.
[00:25:23] Nikki: It was that or live in the bottom of the canyon in the RV, which wouldn't be so bad, but I didn't get internet. So it would have been hard.
[00:25:29] Kim: And we would have been sad cause we wouldn't have gotten to meet you. But the, I mean that in all genuineness. Because it is not something most of us take an opportunity to do, which is to say, "Okay, I actually have every choice imaginable in front of me. Holy shit. What do I do?" Because that is thoroughly overwhelming.
[00:25:54] Nikki: Yeah. If you can do everything, if you can do anything, that means that you have to weed through everything to make your choice.
[00:26:03] Kim: And so how did you, then you said you had this breakdown and you sat and you sobbed and you had wonderful Bentley by your side. What did you do to finally hear that voice that helped you figure out that next step?
[00:26:17] Nikki: I looked at where I was, which was in Palo Duro Canyon, which is the second-largest Canyon in the US if anybody's wondering. It's amazing and went for hikes, got out in nature, but really looked around at where I was right then at that moment and said, "What do I like about this? What is interesting me here?" And it was being in a Canyon. It was being away from so much, but near so much more. And it just felt good there. And in talking to the park ranger, I learned that the bottom of that Canyon was the top of another Canyon in another state park. And I was like, I love this here.
[00:26:57] Nikki: It intrigued me to go to a different area. Okay, that's our next step. And then there was another park along that whole Canyon system. So I just traveled along there at first. And choices I made from there were what feels good here and now? Do I want to experience a different feeling, or do I want to still work within this feeling?
[00:27:20] Nikki: And sometimes it was different. We went to three different sand dunes and Bentley had the time of his life. We went to the mountains; we went to California and saw the trees. We did all of these different things. And I did end up going back to the Canyon and staying there towards the end of the trip. We also went to a state park where we got to mine diamonds.
[00:27:39] Nikki: And so, it was really about what feels good? Is it something I want to keep experiencing? Or am I ready to change that experience?
[00:27:46] Kim: You were in that place of "Holy shit, I have all of these options in front of me. This is huge. This is overwhelming." And then you narrowed it down to that question of, "But what is it that's happening right now that I really love?" And that takes me back to the episode where Louise was talking about the index cards. Of "What do I love about what I'm doing?" And "What is making me cry?" And even though you had everything in front of you, you had an opportunity to start narrowing that down, and then you could ask that meaningful question of "What is it that I really want.?" And you can take that next step.
[00:28:23] Nikki: Even being able to say, do I want more of this or am I ready for something else?
[00:28:27] Kim: Yeah.
[00:28:28] Nikki: It doesn't have to be, you don't have to be in an awful situation to want to change. You can decide, yeah, I love this. And there's this other thing too.
[00:28:38] Kim: I want to experience something more or different.
[00:28:41] Nikki: Yeah.
[00:28:42] Kim: Yeah. Absolutely
[00:28:42] Nikki: I'm ready to grow in a new way.
[00:28:44] Kim: Yeah. I love that. I love that you just tapped into the, it doesn't have to be bad to want to change.
[00:28:51] Louise: Yeah, I think like that happens so many places in our lives where we're just bumping along and going down that road in the RV and it's is it bad? No. Is it good? No.
[00:29:06] Kim: Yeah, but the question is -
[00:29:08] Nikki: Are there straight-line winds? Yes, sometimes.
[00:29:11] Kim: And the question is, did you meet any lumberjacks?
[00:29:14] Nikki: No. And I also didn't wear lipstick.
[00:29:16] Kim: There we have it.
[00:29:17] Nikki: This is our lumberjack and lipstick episode. And both I have the lipstick, but I never wore it.
[00:29:22] Kim: This episode brought to you by the letter "L."
[00:29:26] Laura: Exactly, exactly.
[00:29:27] Nikki: Absolutely. Which Laura Lively is very happy about. Laura Lively's loving. I'm going to say that.
[00:29:37] Nikki: One thing that I would love to talk about as well is how has coming out of the echo chamber of your mind, of these thoughts that you just have out of habit. How has that changed because of coaching because of community, because of having other people who you trust, speak different words to you, or even reflect your words to you?
[00:30:02] Sara: I have created a sense of community in the last nine months that I haven't really had before. I have people in my life that are cheering me on. And telling me that I am good enough and getting excited about the things that I want I do in this world. And. But it's okay to ask other people for help and it's okay to let other people support you. I think that's been a big shift for me.
[00:30:28] Louise: I think for myself over this last while. And I would have to say it's been a couple of years when I started on my own journey of finding work that fits, finding something that feels right, really me. Finding a way for my insides and who I am on the inside to show up in what I do in the world.
[00:30:54] Louise: And I think that outside of just my career journey, it's really taught me that's how I want to show up in my whole life. And I don't want to keep everything on the inside. I'm an extremely private person and I have lots of stuff going on in my head, going on inside. And I never knew the power of sharing that with a community of people who love and support me and do not judge those pieces of me, those parts of me that want to come out. And that's really, for me been a huge place of growth, not just through my career journey and into coaching, but also, I think I've said it before like it just oozes into every corner of my life and fills it up in such a beautiful way
[00:32:01] Sara: The world needs more Louise Neil. So thank you for -
[00:32:03] Kim: I was going to say the same thing.
[00:32:05] Nikki: Absolutely.
[00:32:06] Kim: Yeah.
[00:32:06] Louise: I think one of the things that used to go through my mind, some of that self-talk that I used to have was what's the point? What is the purpose of me speaking out into the world? What am I looking for? What is the return on investment?
[00:32:28] Louise: And I've really come to appreciate and love about myself, is that sometimes the purpose or the point is just to say it out loud.
[00:32:42] Kim: Louise, I am so appreciative that you have expanded your voice and have allowed us to be a part of that. And I feel like it is such a beautiful example of what I feel and what I think so many other people feel when we get to step outside of the echo chamber of our own minds and of the kind of the regurgitation within our own brains of our own thoughts and what it is that we want to change or that we do, we change.
[00:33:14] Kim: And just all of the stuff that happens internally for us and to allow ourselves that space to grow because we're sharing ourselves outside of ourselves. And for me, that's what has felt so amazing is to have that opportunity to not just roll, roll everything around in my brain and do it all on my own, but to lean in and to grow more. Because to have that mirror held up to me to have somebody just ask a question and it may feel or sound like a confrontational question. It may sound and feel scary at first, but I've learned to not take it that way. I've learned to say, "Ooh, this is a moment of growth" that I can really look at something in a way that I haven't before.
[00:34:03] Laura: Hearing somebody repeat back to me what I've said that being able to mirror that back to me, allows me to hear it from somebody else's voice.
[00:34:11] Laura: And then the flip side is I also see that with my own clients, that me mirroring back what they say can have them have this aha moment. So I do find there's huge value in just getting, like you said, getting it out of my own head. And sometimes even as I'm saying it, I can have the aha. I'm like, Oh, I see the problem.
[00:34:34] Laura: So something about, maybe it is the energetic flow of getting it up and out of my body and into, just into a larger space that can be really helpful to help me get out of a stuck place or to get out of the echo chamber of my own mind.
[00:34:47] Nikki: Yeah. And for me having a space to say "things aren't okay" to come to and say, I'm having a really bad day. And in the past, in my head, that would have been a weakness because I can do this. I'm strong. I got this. I can do everything all by myself and I can't be weak. Nobody can know that I'm weak. Nobody can know that I can't do everything by myself. But I learned the real power move is to say, "Hey, I need support."
[00:35:22] Nikki: And to trust that will be met with people's true. Yes. And true. No, and it has nothing to do with, do they love me or not love me or does the no mean a rejection of my entire person when really, you know what, they don't have time. They have other commitments and that's good because of I've learned if somebody trusts you with their true no, that's actually more loving than saying yes because you feel obligated.
[00:35:50] Kim: I just want to take it back to what you said at the beginning, which is what I'm hearing from all of us is that we don't feel other.
[00:35:57] Nikki: Yes.
[00:35:57] Sara: Amen.
[00:35:59] Nikki: [garbled]. Okay. It is now time for the Lightning Round. Yeah. Right. First one, the best part of moving your body?
[00:36:11] Kim: Energy flow.
[00:36:12] Laura: When it's done.
[00:36:15] Sara: The feeling of endorphins and energy and awesomeness for the rest of the day.
[00:36:22] Louise: I feel accomplished. Hey, look what I just did!
[00:36:27] Nikki: For me, it's afterward, too. Okay. I did that now I can not be thinking about it the rest of the day. The best part of doing work that lights you up?
[00:36:35] Sara: Knowing that you have an effect on other people and seeing the world change because you followed your dream.
[00:36:42] Nikki: Boom.
[00:36:43] Laura: What she said.
[00:36:44] Kim: Yeah. That pretty much summed it up.
[00:36:46] Laura: That was a -
[00:36:47] Sara: Mic drop.
[00:36:48] Louise: When you use that word "lights you up," it's absolutely what it feels like from the inside out. Whatever, however, you could describe it, it's absolutely light.
[00:37:02] Kim: You got your sparkle back.
[00:37:04] Nikki: That's right. And for me, it's not just that it's the work that is lit up. It trickles over into everywhere.
[00:37:11] Kim: Yeah.
[00:37:13] Nikki: So, the best part of parts work?
[00:37:15] Kim: Everything.
[00:37:16] Laura: All the parts.
[00:37:18] Sara: The fact that I have seven different parts that talk to each other, and then I felt calm. So thank you, Laura Lively.
[00:37:24] Louise: Yeah, all the parts. It's all part of it.
[00:37:27] Nikki: For me. It's that I get to look at things without feeling like I am just that.
[00:37:34] Laura: Spaciousness.
[00:37:35] Kim: Yup.
[00:37:36] Nikki: Yup. The best part of integrating your whole life?
[00:37:41] Sara: Oh my God, I almost said balance and then I realized "balance is bullshit."
[00:37:48] Kim: Yep. There you go.
[00:37:51] Nikki: Are you looking for harmony? Is that the word you want?
[00:37:53] Sara: Yes. I meant to say harmony.
[00:37:57] Louise: Flow.
[00:37:58] Kim: Being present.
[00:38:00] Laura: I'm sorry. I'm stuck on balance is bullshit.
[00:38:02] Kim: That's awesome.
[00:38:04] Nikki: You're stuck there, word-wise? Or are you stuck there for yourself or your answer?
[00:38:08] Laura: Yeah, I'm stuck. Just consider it stuck. I actually, excuse me, it's not stuck. I'm in a pause.
[00:38:13] Louise: There you go.
[00:38:13] Nikki: Beautiful. You're reflecting. I love it. For me, it's the same as the work that lights you up, it's everywhere in your life and it gives you that space. And so my personal favorite question, the best part of breathwork?
[00:38:25] Kim: Morning Breath.
[00:38:30] Sara: Morning Breath.
[00:38:31] Nikki: Was that everybody? Sorry.
[00:38:33] Louise: I think breathwork is the door to the present.
[00:38:38] Sara: Yeah, I was just gonna say you can always access your breath no matter where you are and if you're stressed, breathwork can just bring you back to the moment. So, I agree with that.
[00:38:49] Kim: Yeah. Centering
[00:38:50] Nikki: Well, and for me, it's, all of what you all just said, but I love to me, it's like the perfect combination of science and woo-woo. How it engages your parasympathetic system, but there's, so that kind of woo energetic aspect to it as well.
[00:39:04] Nikki: Thank you so much for joining us for this, our final episode in season one of The Best Parts.
[00:39:13] Sara: I am your father.
[00:39:14] Kim: What did I miss?
[00:39:17] Nikki: It seems like this is gold.
[00:39:18] Sara: I'm excited.
[00:39:19] Kim: Oh, now are we all taking our tops off? No.
[00:39:22] Sara: I'm not wearing a bra.
[00:39:24] Nikki: We can have The Best Parts After Dark.
[00:39:28] Louise: And, and sometimes the kids are driving the bus.
[00:39:31] Laura: I want a cookie. I want a cookie.
[00:39:33] Sara: I feel easy.
[00:39:34] Kim: Good. Easy peasy, lemon queasy?
[00:39:36] Nikki: Nowadays.
[00:39:37] Laura: Hearkening.
[00:39:38] Louise: What about a hanky?
[00:39:39] Nikki: I’m going to say whippersnapper and make it a trifecta.
[00:39:42] Laura: Sara!
[00:39:43] All: it's not -
[00:39:46] Sara: Sorry. There was too much silence. Sorry.
[00:39:49] Nikki: I love what you said that
[00:39:50] Laura: I also love that
[00:39:52] Kim: I love this idea of
[00:39:53] All: [00:39:53] um, uh, um, uh,
[00:39:56] um, Uh, um, um
[00:39:59] um, um
[00:40:02] um, um,
[00:40:04] mmm. So,
[00:40:05] so, so yeah. Um, well, well, okay. Um,
[00:40:09] well, you know,
[00:40:10] I mean like like, like, like, like, like, like,
[00:40:13] like, like, like,
[00:40:19] okay, like, okay. You're
[00:40:20] like, right, right,
[00:40:23] right, right, right,
[00:40:24] right. Right, right, right, right,
[00:40:29] Kind of, kind of, kind of, kind of, kind of, kind of, kind of,
[00:40:32] you know, you know,
[00:40:34] you know, you know, you know,
[00:40:35] you know, you know, you know, um,
[00:40:38] you know, you know, uh,
[00:40:39] you know, you know, like, Hey, you know what
[00:40:41] I mean? So, I mean, you
[00:40:42] know, um, uh, right.
[00:40:43] Laura: What was the question?
[00:40:47] Nikki: We're glad you pulled up a chair and joined us on this journey. As we said in our First Episode, we hope you're inspired to try new things, make new connections and be a little more present with all the parts of you. We are so beyond grateful that you're here, but we're not done yet. Nope. Season Two is just one month away.
[00:41:05] Nikki: And just like this first season, there will be some laughs, some introspection and a few surprises along the way. Join us as we continue the conversation and welcome to the table some additional voices we hope will inspire and entertain you. We're excited to get started and even more excited to share it with you. In the meantime, be sure to keep your eye on Instagram and Facebook as there promises to be a surprise or two there over the next month.
[00:41:30] Nikki: Join in on the fun by connecting with us on our social media accounts or through our individual websites. You can find all of that information in this week's show notes. Bye for now,
[00:41:41] Kim: Thanks for joining us today for another episode of The Best Parts Podcast. If you like what you heard today, we would love it if you would share this podcast on social media or with anyone else you think would enjoy it. After all, sharing is caring and be sure to leave a rating or review on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts, as it helps others find us. If you'd like to connect with us, you can find us on Instagram @thebestpartspodcast or head over to our website at thebestparts.Podbean.com. Thanks for listening. And until next time, remember that all of the parts are the best parts.