The Best Parts | Balance is BS with Kim Romain

Episode 5 - Today we're going to be turning the tables a little and shining the spotlight on our very own Harmonious Life Coach Kim Romain. You will recognize Kim's voice here on The Best Parts Podcast as she welcomes you each week to pull up a chair. Kim is a former practicing attorney, consultant, and nonprofit executive. And besides The Best Parts Podcast, Kim is creator of Harmonious Life Coaching and the Balance is BS training program. She helps individuals and groups see how focusing on work life balance can create stress, burnout and disconnection. She then transforms her clients by getting them to create a more harmonious and integrated life through releasing stuck and stagnant belief patterns and setting healthy boundaries.

Coming up you can work with Kim, on September 10^th  in a Virtual Visualization workshop helping identify where you are, where you want to go and visualize a future for yourself. And then you'll leave that with one or two action steps to send you in the right direction.

On  September 30^th, a 12-week Balance Is Bullshit training program. With daily 5-10 minutes short actions and a monthly visualization workshop, as well as the group coaching.

You can find Kim at www.harmoniouslifecoach.com. On Instagram and Facebook at harmoniouslifecoach and on LinkedIn at Kim Romain.

 

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[00:00:00] Kim: Stevie Nicks is my other spirit animal. So there's that.

[00:00:03] Louise: I think most days my spirit animal is a squirrel.

[00:00:06] Sara: All the little parts are what make us whole.

[00:00:09] Laura: So tell me, what's making you twitch about that word.

[00:00:11] Nikki: Fine I'll just do it!

[00:00:17] Laura: Hi, I'm Laura.

[00:00:18] Sara: Hi, I'm Sara.

[00:00:20] Kim: And I'm Kim.

[00:00:21] Nikki: This is Nikki.

[00:00:22] Louise: And I'm Louise.

[00:00:24] Kim: Hi, and welcome to The Best Parts Podcast, where we invite you to pull up a chair and think about your best parts, which are all your parts.

[00:00:34] Louise: Hello, everyone and welcome here to our table today. I am so happy you could join us for this episode number five. So, pull up a chair, or if you've been inspired to bring more movement into your life lately, maybe this is the episode you strap on your sneakers or jump on your bike for the next half hour or so. Today we're going to be turning the tables a little and shining the spotlight on our very own Harmonious Life Coach Kim Romain. You will recognize Kim's voice here on The Best Parts Podcast as she welcomes you each week to pull up a chair. Kim is a former practicing attorney, consultant, and nonprofit executive. And besides The Best Parts Podcast, Kim is creator of Harmonious Life Coaching and the Balance is BS training program.

[00:01:23] Louise:  She helps individuals and groups see how focusing on work life balance can create stress, burnout and disconnection. She then transforms her clients by getting them to create a more harmonious and integrated life through releasing stuck and stagnant belief patterns and setting healthy boundaries. So, Hey Kim.

[00:01:42] Kim: Hey Louise.

[00:01:43] Louise: So glad we get a chance here today to chat with you a little more. I'm super excited.

[00:01:48] Kim: Me too. Yay!

[00:01:51] Louise: So, I was thinking one of the first times you and I had connected after our retreat, we were on a call with a bunch of other coaching professionals. And this call really stood out for me. As during the call, we were kind of talking and sharing about our philosophies and how we would work those philosophies and values into our programs and our offerings.

[00:02:15] Louise: And I remember you with such resounding passion, saying, "Balance is bullshit!" And I was like, "What is she talking about?" Cause I, I felt like I always had been striving for that balance. And here you were saying it's something different. And I was wondering if you could just speak into that a little bit. Cause I just, I remember it blowing my mind.

[00:02:41] Kim: Yeah absolutely. Well, it blew my mind when I finally had the aha moment that this is actually the truth that I live in. So many years ago, I was just trying to balance everything. If I just did the work life balance thing, if I just got that under control, if I just figured that out, then, then everything would be fine.

[00:02:58] Kim: I had a newborn. I was just out of practicing law and just new into the nonprofit sector. And working my tail off day and night and never feeling like this balance thing took anything into consideration with what my life actually meant to me. And I had this wonderful coach one time, and all she did was ask me what would happen if you didn't live in balance?

[00:03:23] Kim: And it was like, I woke up. I, it was all of a sudden I went, "Wait, what? That's an option?  I don't, I don't, I don't have to live in balance?" And I started really diving into what does the word mean to me, for myself? That almost everybody I know balance has caused more stress, more anxiety, more depression, more tension.

[00:03:45] Kim: And it just doesn't work. I like to give the analogy of like, we need balance at certain points in our lives, right? If we're trying to do tree pose, which I'm horrible at, but if we're trying you know any of the balancing poses, those are important, right? Like we need the balance, but balance creates tension in our body. Balance creates that. And that's what we want because it creates the flexibility. It creates the strength that we need and that's great, but it doesn't work, for the way we live our lives. That's what I found anyway.

[00:04:18] Louise: Yeah, I love that. Cause you know, like you said, as a, as a working parent or just in life in general, I always feel like there's these buckets to fill and there's there's a teeter totter and there's work on one side and life on the other.

[00:04:34] Louise: And we're constantly trying to get this teeter totter to, to be in balance, to be at this, this flat unmoving level.

[00:04:45] Nikki: Well Louise I love the teeter totter analogy. Cause I just pictured you like on one side, running to the other, running to the other and kind of stopping in the middle. You know, and how you would balance one foot on each side trying to find the middle, but you never stopped moving to try to get to that middle. Like it was never, you never got a stop point. It's always adjusting.

[00:05:04] Louise: Exhausting, right?

[00:05:06] Nikki: Yeah.

[00:05:07] Louise: Yeah.

[00:05:07] Kim: Yep. That's exactly it. And it is exhausting. And, and the thing that, that has always kind of blown my mind when we think about this it's work and everything else in your life. You talked about 90,000 hours of work.

[00:05:25] Louise: Yep.

[00:05:25] Kim: So, 90,000 hours of "work" and "the rest of your life."

[00:05:30] Nikki: That number still makes my stomach, go "AHHHH."

[00:05:33] Kim: It does for me as well. And yet I might wait for me. It's, what?? Yes. I want to be doing something for work that I love so much it doesn't feel like work. Absolutely. But the reality is I'm here on this planet for so much more than the work that I do.

[00:05:56] Kim: And I feel like it's been discounted because it's "work "and "the rest of your life."

[00:06:00] Louise: Right?

[00:06:01] Sara: Do we get 90,000 hours for the rest of our lives too, Louise? Because I'm thinking about that too. I love this concept of balance is BS, and I've always agreed with this Kim. There are moments in your life that you might feel in balance for a little bit, but I just think it's an unattainable goal.

[00:06:18] Sara: And I completely agreeing with what you're saying. And one of the things I've always heard is, you know, like they say that work life balance. It just makes me feel nauseous cause it's not possible. So, I've always said work life blend. And that just sits with me better. And I feel like that kind of goes into what you're saying about creating harmony.

[00:06:35] Sara: So, I really appreciate hearing this and I can't wait to figure out how I'm going to spend the other 90,000 hours.

[00:06:40] Kim: Right. Yeah, absolutely. It’s so interesting that you said work life blend, because really what I'm talking about, living a harmonious life, I'm talking about living an integrated life. It can't be "work" and "the rest of our life."  You can't just silo out this part of life that we call work and then expect the rest of our life to be quote unquote balanced. It just doesn't work. I know that when I focus on that when I'm like, “Okay, has everybody gotten enough time?" Not even equal time, right? Cause equal time can't even happen. But especially if you're talking about 90,000 hours of work and then the rest of your life filling up the rest of it.  It's like Louise said, it's all these different buckets.

[00:07:18] Kim: And making sure that each of those buckets gets a little bit of your attention. The only way to do it is to stop siloing things and to really start integrating. And I think we've had this really cool opportunity, many of us have had this really cool opportunity to play with this a little bit more. And I understand it stressed a lot of people out during this time of quarantine and during COVID-19 where a lot of people have been working from home.

[00:07:43] Kim: And they have their kids home. They're, you know, helping with remote learning. They're doing all of the stuff. And I get that it's stressful. And if we weren't trying to look at our lives in these siloed buckets and you start looking at it as integration and start taking stock of all of the amazing things that you're able to do during the day, you'd feel less stressful.

[00:08:05] Kim: I know that I do.

[00:08:06] Laura: So, I'm really confused now. I have a part of me that's scared because I've lived with this idea of work life balance all of my 50 odd years. And so, I want to hear more about this integration thing, because I have parts that are like, "What do you mean I can't do this? This is what I've been working towards all of my life."  Tell me what to do, Kim, tell me what to do!

[00:08:27] Kim: Oh, little part. I just wanted to hug you. So, what do we do to integrate our lives? There's a lot of logistical things that we have to do. I had to get rid of separate planners and separate notebooks. I had to truly integrate my lives. Now, some people that is not going to work for because their brains that's gonna confuse their brains.

[00:08:47] Kim: And that's totally fine, but what works for me and what I have my clients play with is do you have separate calendars? Do you have separate notebooks? Do you have separate planners? Do you have separate planning time where you're parsing out and siloing out the different parts of your life? If you are, then you're not looking at yourself holistically.  And what you need to shift to is having an opportunity to holistically look at how you're showing up in your life. So, one of the tools that I like working with that early on with somebody is this concept of, "To Do" and "Got Done." And it's a side-by-side list that you put out on your desk every day. And on your “To Do” side, you brain dump in the morning, all the things that you have to do that day, whether they're on your calendar or not, it's all those things that you have To Do.

[00:09:35] Kim: And the other column you have the “Got Done.” And the “Got Done” is, is as you're crossing the things off on your, “To Do” list that you've accomplished that day you write those on your, “Got Done.” The other things that you put on your “Got Done,” you know, for me, it's when my daughter comes upstairs and needs help with an assignment or needs help logging in, or I end up going down a rabbit hole with somebody in email.

[00:10:01] Kim:  I, I put that on my “Got Done” because I spent time doing that. And quite frankly, during times of quarantine, I also put on there "shower". There are days where I'm in a really bad mood and I put, “Got Done.” I laugh because hell yeah, that can be an accomplishment.

[00:10:16] Sara: Absolutely. I've always said that. I love this Kim, cause I've done this before, where there's days that I'm at work and I have a To Do list that sits on my desk all the time.

[00:10:24] Sara: So I just, cause I try to stay super organized and there's days I've looked at my list and I'm like, I didn't do anything on that list. And instead I, so then I would write down everything I've done just so I can check it off so I can be like, I did get things done today. So I love the side by side lists. That's a really cool visual.

[00:10:40] Laura: I thought I was the only one that did that, that went back and said, let me write down so I can check it off.

[00:10:45] Sara: Right. I love it.

[00:10:47] Kim: Yeah, cause it can be so defeating, right? And, and, and all of our parts can get really depressed and upset and our inner critic can come out and be so mean to us when we think that we haven't gotten anything done, like, "Oh, I just wasted another day." When you didn't. No day is a waste. Even if you chose to nap, it's not a waste. Like we need that.

[00:11:10] Louise: Yeah. And you know, Kim, I really love this, this idea too. It's not that we're not focusing on a role or on a task. When you talk about busting open these silos. It's not that we're not focused on accomplishments or goals. It's that we're looking at it from a bird's eye view and looking at all of the roles that we play in all of the things that we do all at once. It's not, I'm just this person, right? I am just an executive or I'm just a mom or I'm, we're not just anything. We're all of it.

[00:11:49] Kim: Yeah. It's like taking each of those buckets and pouring it into a swimming pool. So, it's all together.

[00:11:55] Nikki: I have a big picture brain. If I try to compartmentalize my schedule, my brain is like, but all this is over here, but all this is over here, but all this is in this pocket. And if I don't know what I have to do over here, how do I know what I have to do here? And so I love the, To Do, and I call it the, To Done list. When I do it, because it just helps me feed that part of my brain that wants to see all of the things.

[00:12:21] Kim: Yeah, and it's so important. We are whole beings. We are not siloed beings. And the more we silo out our parts and especially as a working mom, and I know this impacts everybody, but especially as a working mom, we tend to silo ourselves even further.

[00:12:39] Kim: Like I can only be mom now and I can, like, we talk about changing hats and we're taught, you know, my clients are always talking about all the, all the plates they're spinning, all the balls in the air, all the, all the, you know, it's, it's all the stuff and it it's still considers all of it as these singular points.

[00:12:56] Kim: And while, they may be temporarily, you know, if I'm super focused on one thing, that's great. You know, I still have that ability to do it, but it doesn't mean the rest of it is all gone. It all still exists, and it needs to be cared for. And so that integrated living is really pulling all of those together and looking at them together and figuring out how to manage our days, our times with all of that in mind.

[00:13:25] Sara: It was interesting that earlier you talked about in quarantine and I feel like quarantine has shown us how integrated our lives actually are.

[00:13:33] Kim: Yeah.

[00:13:34] Sara: Cause yeah, like you're talking about like you're upstairs and you're working, and your daughter has to come up to ask you something. Well, you know, maybe when you're actually at the office, you can ignore it, right? It's different now, you know, all of it is integrated. And I think physically we're seeing that, you know, everything is kind of, I don't know, I just feel like it's a different feeling. I think when we go back to whatever the hell normal life is going to be after this, we'll notice that I just think more people might understand harmonious living.

[00:14:00] Kim: Well, there's a big part of me that doesn't want to go back to whatever normal was, because I don't think it's healthy.

[00:14:06] Sara: Yeah.

[00:14:07] Kim: I mean, the reality is it wasn't that I spent the eight hours at my job, not thinking about all the other things that she needed or dealt with. "Oh, I need to get my car taken care of. I need to go to the dentist. She needs to go to the dentist. I need to order something for the house. I need to go grocery shopping. I need to do my meal planning. I need to think about when am I next...." Like it's constant. And you can even hear my voice. How dit, dit, dit, dit, right? It gets, it's that rapid fire thing cause it never stops.

[00:14:34] Kim: And so, even if we're just sitting, doing one task, our brains are still processing all the other stuff that we have to do. And so, if we start bringing it in, we're actually creating more space in our brains to be more focused and to be more productive. Does that make sense?

[00:14:53] Nikki: Yeah, when you fight your brain, it just screams louder.

[00:14:58] Kim: Yeah, totally.

[00:14:59] Nikki: And so for me, when I'm trying to ignore something, it's just louder and bigger and bigger and louder until it's almost like an explosion, "Like fine. I'll just do it!" And then I get distracted.

[00:15:12] Laura: I would say that's a part, that's a part. We all know that ignoring them is never a good thing.

[00:15:18] Nikki: Ignoring when emotion comes up, when parts come up, when that little nagging voice in your head comes up, ignoring it is just going to make it louder. You either have to write it down, say, "I'll talk to you later." You have to do something right, to be able to move through it.

[00:15:34] Laura: It's certainly a better answer than just trying to ignore it. So, I have a question, Kim, I don't have kids, so I don't have that whole additional layer of complexity in my life is what I'm going to call it. For, because I know that that word is not adequate, but the thought if I were, if I were a mom and I had kids and I had all of my, all of my tasks in different places or all of my, To Do lists in different places, as it related to my job, to  keeping the house to taking care of the kids. I'm thinking possibly that the thought of trying to put all those together would be overwhelming.

[00:16:10] Laura: How can you help people not feel overwhelmed as you're wanting them to look more holistically at their life?

[00:16:16] Kim: Yes. So, overwhelm is part of it, right? Where we start from overwhelm very often because we have so many different things in front of us and we don't always know how to focus our attention. So sometimes we very often we're already coming from a place of overwhelm. But, but absolutely true is, is pulling it all together can feel like a whole new level and it can, there can be a lot of resistance to actually looking at it that way. And so we take it in bite size pieces. It's not necessarily sitting down with all of their calendars at once. We work up to that, we have them play with that. So, it's not, if it's not something that's going to work for them, right?

[00:16:55] I Kim: f they are somebody who having it all in front of them feels scary, we're going to work with those feelings. And, and start to release some of that resistance before diving in and saying, "Okay, put it all together," because that would, that would just, that would be jarring.

[00:17:11] Laura: I love that you work with the resistance and the emotions that come up with that. I think that's, I think often with clients working with the resistance is probably something that we all do across the board, regardless of what our specialty is. And. I love that you work with them to figure out what's behind the resistance and to deal with the emotion that's coming up around it. So I like that.

[00:17:33] Kim: Thanks. Yeah. I described myself as pragmatically woo-woo. So, I, I will absolutely help with the logistics, the organization that, you know, help figure out all of that. I can feel really comfortable in a business setting. You know, I’ve been a business executive, so I understand all of that and can speak that language and walk that walk.

[00:17:55] Kim: But I will also take you to the the place where feelings, where we have those somatic experiences, where we start to unpack what the resistance is, what the fear is, what the feelings and emotions are coming up around it. And let you lean into that because that's where we're going to see the greatest shifts in our lives.

[00:18:14] Kim: Every time I start to get overwhelmed because I'm a human being, I get overwhelmed. I, you know, I have these ebbs and flows. I pull out my tools and my tools include, yes, getting all my lists in place, but it also includes doing some deep energy work. It involves working with my emotions. It involves working with my parts.

[00:18:33] Kim: So I think you have to, again, it's holistic, we're people, we're human beings,

[00:18:36] Nikki: But it's also having all of these different tools because what you need, one thing, one crisis, one emotion, when we break down isn't necessarily what you're going to need exactly next time. So, you know, maybe you like the smell of lavender in one day and the next day you're like, no, definitely not. So just having all of these different things, you can access really will serve you in the moment but knowing what those are is important.

[00:19:05] Kim: for sure, for sure.

[00:19:07] Louise: I love all these tools as well as this. You know, as we come out of overwhelm and we begin to see things more clearly that really this integrated living and this life is all about being in choice

[00:19:24] Kim: A hundred percent about intentional choice. We get to choose. We get to make our choices. We get to choose things all the time. It is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. I am the first person to tell you, none of this work is easy. It's hard work and it is ongoing for the rest of your life work. Like I just said, I, you know, a month ago I totally fell apart and it took me two weeks to pull myself out of it.

[00:19:50] Kim: But I had the tools and I made the choice and every day I made the choice to work on it. And I've gotten myself back to a much better place. And the next time I fall down, I will make a different choice. You know, we, that's what we have to do every time we have to make those choices.

[00:20:07] Nikki: Well, and even remembering that word "choice" can be hard sometimes. When you're feeling hopeless, when you're feeling challenged it's like, "Oh, there's so much happening around me. I don't know what to do." And when we tell ourselves we don't know what to do, our brain is like, yeah, we don't know what to do. We're stuck. It's not our fault. It's not our problem, which are here.

[00:20:25] Nikki: But when, I know for me, when I take a moment to say, "How can I be in choice here?" What can I do to change the situation, to remove myself to rest? What do I need here so that I am in choice? Because that's, what's empowering to me. That's what helps me walk through whatever is happening.

[00:20:43] Sara: I totally agree with that too. And I've always felt that a lot of times we make passive choices. We don't even realize that we're making choices. It's just like, this is the way I've always done it. And you forget when you wake up, you're like, "I have a choice to do this, this or this." I wonder if you can tell us more about how you would work with a client that way, Kim.  When you have someone coming to you and they're totally overwhelmed and how do you introduce choice to them and, and, and using their choices to change their life?

[00:21:08] Kim: Yes, it's very much like the coach who worked with me is it's a simple question of, "Do you need to feel that way? Do you need to think that way?" So, if the thought is I should be behaving this way, because this is how I was raised.

[00:21:28] Kim: The simple question is, "Is that what you have to believe?" Is there another option? And very often just asking that simple question puts people back on their heels. They're like, "What? No, but I, I should believe this because this is how I was raised. I don't know any of them way to think." And you just, it's a simple, simple, curious question of, "But is there another way?"

[00:21:51] Kim: And there's no, there's no right or wrong, right? That's the really amazing and beautiful thing is we are all here on this earth to live the lives we choose to live, and we make unconscious choices every day, but we can totally choose differently.

[00:22:08] Sara: I completely agree with that. And I, I love the common theme we've had throughout our first couple episodes where we've talked about this like bite size pieces with movement and with your career and with your parts work and you know, now we're hearing it from you again. And I just love, like our common theme throughout is all the little parts are what make us whole. And I just, I love hearing it again in a different way, especially from a, for working moms.  You know, I don't have kids either, and I couldn't imagine having to balance kids as well.

[00:22:35] Sara:  And then having you say, well, you don't have to balance it, it just blends together. I just, I don't know. I just love it. And thank you for sharing all of this with us.

[00:22:43] Kim: Yeah. Well, and it's interesting that you talked about all of our parts, cause right they're all the best parts.

[00:22:47] Sara: Yep.

[00:22:47] Laura: Kim, I was going to say, I really want to circle back and honor that you were willing to share with us that you'd had a tough time.

[00:22:55] Laura:  You know, that's not easy to admit to a bunch of listeners and I appreciate your willingness to be that vulnerable with us. And I also love that you mentioned that you have some tools that allow you to figure it out and how to move forward. And so I'm curious what did you realize, as you were struggling, that would help you, which of the tools work the best? How did you reach out for support? Can you share a little bit about what that process was like?

[00:23:22] Kim: Yeah, I'd be happy to thank you for asking. I deeply believe that those of us that have made those shifts, if we start talking about them, if we share them, which means sharing the, the, not so pretty parts of our lives and how we work through it, I think that, that it can be something that's encouraging to other people. I never want my story to be something that somebody, you know, measures themselves against. Cause that's unfair. Like I said before, each of us has our own lives. And so, for me, what I was called back into and I alluded to it a little bit earlier, was my energy work.

[00:23:58] Kim: So through meditation, doing Reiki and just really tuning into my energy body it, it allowed me, me to process through, and it was truly not pretty, but it was, you know, it was primal screams. It was asking my family to go out in the backyard so they couldn't hear me sobbing for as long as I needed to sob.  It was turning on music that let me move my body in a very primal way that just moved the energy through. And so that was the first step for me, because for me, what was coming up was a lot of anger, a lot of anger. And I don't deal well with anger, either receiving it or putting it out into the world, but I really needed to process that anger.

[00:24:49] Kim: And so I used my energy body in that way to process it through and get to the other side. And then once I got to the other side, I had to start rebuilding.  And creating some daily rituals around that has really helped me realign myself and allow my, allow me to be fully there for, for my clients, for my family, for myself, in a way that is,  I'm going to use the word authentic, although I don't love that word, but that's really the only word that I could think of.

[00:25:20] Nikki: You need to invent a new word.

[00:25:22] Kim: I do.

[00:25:24] Nikki: I get like a little twitch.

[00:25:28] Laura: Why is that ladies? Why do you not? What's what's tell, tell me, what's making your twitch about that word.

[00:25:33] Nikki: For me, I feel like people use "authentic" in a way that isn't authentic.

[00:25:40] Kim: Exactly, exactly.

[00:25:42] Nikki: That is not what it is. And so, when I use it, I'm like Kim. I'm like, I don't like this word, but this is the word I'm using very mindfully right here.

[00:25:51] Kim: Yeah. Yeah. And it's usually, cause there really isn't another word, but it has, it has become such a catch phrase, you know, it's, it's so funny. Cause when I do, I talk about, like I said, I'm pragmatically woo-woo, right?

[00:26:03] Kim: I'll I'll talk to you, to death about the spreadsheets and, and, and data analysis and all of that good juicy stuff in life. And then I can talk to you about working with your energy body. And for me, even, even talking with you and sharing with our listeners, that there is that part of me, there is that quote unquote woo-woo part of me, the scariest part of my sharing it is that it feels like it's been popularized and it's something totally different for me. It's something very personal. And so, when I talk about what works for a client, it may or may not be energy work. They may think energy work is, is the craziest thing they've ever heard about.

[00:26:43] Kim: And that's fine. That's totally fine, but what is it for them that they can then re recenter themselves on, right? Where can they bring themselves back to the most authentic core part of themselves. Because again, it goes back to, we are all individuals on this earth, we are all human beings and we all deserve to respect ourselves for that.

[00:27:07] Kim: Like we respect everybody else or we should be. And I don't use should very often, but we really should be respecting other humans probably a lot more than a lot of humans are right now.

[00:27:18] Nikki:  Well, I mean, I love that too, Kim, because I mean, this is why we're the kids in the back of the class talking behind our folders. Cause it's the same for me where it's like, I'm, I'm careful about how I talk about my spirituality and my woo-wooness. That's my new word of the day. Um, because it's so personal and it's so individual, and I'm also very respectful that other people's experiences are different than mine. So when I say I feel sad, I might experience that feeling physical feeling different than someone else.

[00:27:50] Nikki:  And so I, try to be mindful when I'm talking about it and I think it's become I've erred on the side of overcaution with it because I want to make sure people understand what I'm meaning. And I can't ensure that, but it is such an important and fundamental part of who I am as a person, as a coach, as a human in the world.

[00:28:12] Nikki: And so I really appreciate you speaking to that just because it's different and not everybody consciously gets it. I feel like they get it on some level, but not always front of the mind level.

[00:28:24] Kim: So, one of my favorite questions to ask people is what is your spirit animal, or who is your spirit animal?

[00:28:30] Nikki: I can give you a quick answer, but we talked about this and it's all of them.

[00:28:34] Kim: Yeah. I love that about you Nikki, "They're all of them." Does anybody else have a spirit animal? Well, Sara, I think we think yours is a sloth, but yeah.

[00:28:44] Nikki: think she called it hers as sloth.

[00:28:46] Sara: Yeah. I said mine was a sloth, but it's actually a rhino.

[00:28:50] Kim: Oh, that's so cool.

[00:28:53] Nikki: I have a thing they're called the crash of rhino.

[00:28:56] Sara: I have a tattoo of a rhino on my side and I love her name is Rosie and it's a long story, but I love rhinos. That is my spirit animal.

[00:29:05] Nikki: That's awesome. I want to hear that story.

[00:29:06] Laura: Yeah, me too.

[00:29:07] Louise: How do you, how do you know what your spirit animal is?

[00:29:10] Laura: Thank you, Louise.

[00:29:14] Louise: I don't know what mine is. How do I find this out?

[00:29:16] Kim: So for me, it comes to me in a vision. To me, it is when I'm meditating and I'm all of a sudden visited by the either I can visually see it, or I can feel the energy or the feeling that feels like there's something there. So there is for me, I have several as well. So, I have an, a playful Otter that plays in front of me. I have an entire, I don't know what they're called a flock of flamingos. That, what are they called? What's a whole bunch of flamingos? I don't know. But then --

[00:29:48] Laura: A whole bunch of flamingos?

[00:29:49] Kim: It's a whole bunch of flamingos. So, I have a whole bunch of flamingos over to my right and they tend to kind of push me forward. They like do their dances and then if I'm not propelling myself forward, they kind of push me forward. I have an owl over my left shoulder, and I have a Hawk that guides me in front of me. So --

[00:30:05] Nikki: I have to go back because I Googled it. It's called a

[00:30:07] Sara: flamboyance of

[00:30:12] Nikki: flamboyance of flamingos.

[00:30:15] Laura: I love that!

[00:30:16] Kim: That feels appropriate.

[00:30:17] Nikki: It does. I read it and I started laughing. I'm like, oh yes, Kim, you have a flamboyance.

[00:30:23] Kim: Oh, I do have a flamboyance, I’m so excited.

[00:30:29] Sara: I asked Siri that too. And it's when I saw flamboyance, I just started laughing. I was like I need Kim to stop talking for a minute so I can talk.

[00:30:35] Nikki: I know I'm like, she's going to be so happy when she hears this.

[00:30:39] Sara: Not a flock.

[00:30:41] Nikki: Any group of birds can be a flock that's what Google has said, but specifically it is the flamboyance of flamingos.

[00:30:47] Kim: Thank you, Google and Siri, as well as Nikki and Sara for figuring that out. So, yeah. So, it's just something that comes to you or you feel a special affinity towards an animal and that their energy or their presence just brings you a little bit more comfort, a little bit more joy.

[00:31:04] Kim: So that's, it's just, it's one of those things. Stevie Nicks is my other spirit animal. So, there's that.

[00:31:09] Nikki: Yeah. Stacy London is my human spirit animal. So, I understand that.

[00:31:14] Louise: That is so funny. 

[00:31:14] Sara: Mine is Pink.  Mine is Pink

[00:31:16] Kim: Of course, it is.

[00:31:18] Louise: Um, I think, I think most days my spirit animal is a squirrel

[00:31:26] Laura: Squirrel, squirrel.

[00:31:26] Kim: Squirrel energy is pretty good though.

[00:31:27] Laura: Squirrel.

[00:31:28] Louise: Yeah. I love that.

[00:31:29] Nikki: Especially watching them torment my dog.

[00:31:36] Louise: I was just, you know, I wanted to just kind of speak into this space because one of the, as we talk about having these visions and these connections, as you were speaking Kim about bringing these tools and these resources to your clients and to our listeners too. Everyone that you interact with to your family or your daughter that I just had this really clear vision of you standing there with your hand out saying, "Come this way that you haven't come before and let's see what we can find together."

[00:32:14] Kim: Yeah, it's so true. Thank you, Louise. It is so true. I feel like with all, I want just say it with humanity. I mean, I guess I can't even pick, it's not clients. It's not family. It's it's it's everybody. It's humanity. I do feel like my hand is out and it's just, I've got you. That's really the message I've got you.

[00:32:32] Kim: You're going to be okay. I've got you.

[00:32:34] Nikki: Well, and even though we're in, in a COVID six feet away space, Louise described Kim as the human version of a hug. And so, I pictured you with both arms open going, come here, let me give you a snuggle.

[00:32:45] Kim: That's the second. But like, if they, if they're willing to take the hand, let's go all the way in for the hug.

[00:32:49] Nikki: That's right. COVID notwithstanding.

[00:32:53] Kim: Yeah. I'm really good at air hugs at this point.

[00:32:58] Nikki: But there's just something about a good cuddle with somebody who really knows how to hug and just hold you and be there with you. And that's one of the gifts of just being around Kim is you just leave, feeling hugged, even if it's via Zoom.

[00:33:12] Kim: Thank you.

[00:33:14] Louise: [So, Kim, I wanted to know as we kind of wrap up a little bit here today, if there was something that I should have asked you that I didn't know enough to ask.

[00:33:26] Kim: Well, it's so funny because it's like, there's a million things that you didn't ask because you didn't know to ask. And I don't, I wouldn't even know where to begin.

[00:33:34] Kim:  I think, you know, it goes back to kind of what I've already said is that we're all humans. We all have this messy life that we're living. None of us are doing it perfectly. None of us, no matter what your Instagram or Facebook or whatever feed tells you about somebody else, nobody is living it perfectly.

[00:33:54] Kim: Nobody has their shit together. We're all struggling on some level. And if we can just see the humanity in each other, just a little more deeply, just a little more closely than we have an opportunity to really make this lifetime that we're here sparkle, absolutely sparkle and glitter and shine. And that's my hope for all of us.

[00:34:19] Kim: That's for everybody who's listening, but for everybody who's not listening is that we all have the opportunity to sparkle and glitter and shine, and I'm going to try really hard to not cry now.

[00:34:29] Louise: That's beautiful. Thank you. Yeah. Deep breath.

[00:34:35] Kim: Yeah

[00:34:37] Louise: So before we jump into the Lightning Round, I was wondering if you can tell our listeners what you have currently going on, what's maybe coming up for you and how they can reach out and connect with you by hand or by hug.

[00:34:51] Kim: Oh, I love that. Absolutely. So, coming up on September 10th, I have a, an online Virtual Visualization workshop helping us identify where we are, where we want to go and visualize a future for ourselves. And then you'll leave that with one or two action steps to send you in the right direction. We're not going to fix everything in the short workshop, but it gives you a chance to really dive into and play with visualization for your own future.

[00:35:20] Kim: And if you've never had an opportunity to do that, it's really empowering. And then on September 30th. I start my 12-week Balance Is Bullshit training program. This will be somewhat self-directed in that you can listen in your own time. Nothing will take more than five to 10 minutes a day because I know everybody's overwhelmed. But you'll also have an opportunity for once a month to do a visualization workshop with me, as well as the group coaching.

[00:35:47] Kim: One of the things that if you take part in the training program as well, that I will highly encourage you to do you is to make dark chocolate a really, really, really good friend of yours because the process of doing this, this deep inner work and working through letting go of the concept of balance and leaning into this harmonious life, you need a little chocolate on your side.

[00:36:09] Louise: I love that.

[00:36:10] Kim: And where they can find me. Yes.

[00:36:12] Louise: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:36:13] Kim: And you can find me at www.harmoniouslifecoach.com. You can find me on Instagram and Facebook at harmonious life coach as well. And you can find me on LinkedIn at Kim Romain.

[00:36:24] Louise: So if I wanted to sign up for your workshops or your training program, would I just reach out and connect with you on your website?

[00:36:31] Kim: Yes, you can go right to my website. All the information is there. I can also join my newsletter, which gives you 12 weeks of content as well towards releasing the idea of balance.

[00:36:43] Louise: Beautiful. I love that. Thank you.

[00:36:45] Kim: You're welcome.

[00:36:46] Louise: All right. So, the Lightning Round, here we go. Are you ready? Is everyone ready?

[00:36:51] Nikki: Yeah, where's the dun-dun-du-duh?

[00:36:57] Sara: I couldn't find the unmute button fast.

[00:37:01] Nikki: You got it. You pulled us through.

[00:37:03] Louise: All right. So here we go. Kim, what is the best part of the pizza?

[00:37:10] Kim: The crust.

[00:37:12] Sara: Oh, good God! I was just thinking ‘don't you dare say crust!’

[00:37:18] Kim: See, I love the cheese. Well, but it's too hard. I mean, I love, well actually, probably the best part. I'm going to take that back, but no, it is still the crust. It is still the crust because it's making the crust, it's making the pizza and I love, they're all hard for me. They're all. I, there's a reason why my daughter tells you that her favorite color is rainbow because none of us can make a freaking decision to save our lives. But no, it is. It's actually, it's making the pizza, but my favorite favorite part is actually making the dough. I love the feel of kneading the dough, so there's that.

[00:37:52] Louise: All right. Cool. All right. What's the best thing on your nightstand right now?

[00:37:59] Sara: Oh, wow. Glad you're answering that.

[00:38:05] Laura: After Dark, here we come.

[00:38:07] Nikki: I think she just did.  She's in hysterics now.

[00:38:09] Kim: It's so funny.  So, it's no like, yeah, it, it my nightstand is this pitifully small little thing that is toppling over with books, but the best thing on my nightstand right now is a roll of KT tape.

[00:38:25] Louise: All right. Not the answer I was expecting.

[00:38:28] Kim: I know!

[00:38:29] Nikki: With that laugh I thought it would be way different.

[00:38:31] Kim: Right? I am here to turn your world upside down.

[00:38:37] Louise: Sure are.

[00:38:38] Nikki: And it's funny in my head, I was, cause I was like, "Oh, for me. Kleenex." And then I was like, Oh, that is maybe the wrong answer too. But it's because my allergies are so bad that it's like, that is my most precious nightstand thing right now.

[00:38:50] Kim: I hear ya.

[00:38:51] Louise: Oh, I love it.

[00:38:52] Kim: Well, the second one on my nightstand, cause I can never just have one. The second-best thing on my nightstand. Are you ready?  Is a highlighter.

[00:39:02] Nikki: I don't even know what to say to that.

[00:39:04] Sara: Do you draw on your husband's face while he's sleeping or something?

[00:39:07] Kim: That would be fun. But no -

[00:39:11] Nikki: His back!

[00:39:12] Kim: His back. I draw all sorts of things. No, no, no, no. I, well, because I have my, my toppling over books, so I need my highlighters so that I can cause some I don't highlight fiction, but like a lot of it is nonfiction and I need my highlighter.

[00:39:25] Louise: Alright. What. Is the best thing in your closet?

[00:39:31] Kim: Oh shit. Oh, I know the best thing in my closet is all of my artwork that I have nowhere to store anywhere else.

[00:39:44] Laura: Oh, that's sad.

[00:39:46] Kim: No, it's not sad. I have it. It's like, it's all there. It's trying to find a home, but there's like my house is packed with artwork.

[00:39:52] Nikki: Send something to me, I have walls.

[00:39:54] Kim: Okay, okay.

[00:39:56] Louise: All right. What is the best kind of holiday or vacation or whatever you want to call it? What is the best kind of vacation?

[00:40:03] Kim: I love holiday. Holiday is great.

[00:40:05] Sara: I was going to say Christmas, but...you're talking about vacations

[00:40:08] Kim: Well, not in my world.

[00:40:09] Sara: Oh, that's right. Sorry. Hanukkah. Hanukkah.

[00:40:13] Kim: The best part of a holiday or the best type of holiday?

[00:40:16] Louise: Yes.

[00:40:17] Kim: Okay. Well, I, I, cause I, we're not having that and this year. Thank you, COVID.  It's any holiday, it would be awesome right now, but breathing fresh air. And being in beautiful spaces.

[00:40:35] Sara: You just made a difference, everybody else?

[00:40:37] Nikki: Yeah. did everyone else just breath?

[00:40:40] Louise: Totally there.

[00:40:41] Kim: What I was picturing was last year, we did a nearly cross-country road trip and we did six national parks, including Yellowstone and the grand Tetons. And I was picturing my most, the most beautiful place where we were on the Tetons, where I could just happily be for the rest of my days.

[00:40:57] Louise: Oh, lovely. I love that. Alright. And our last question here in the Lightning Round, what's the best part of your story?

[00:41:07] Kim: Mm Hmm. That I'm still writing it.

[00:41:11] Sara: I love that.

[00:41:13] Kim: And I don't need a second one for that

[00:41:14] Nikki: I was going to say, "Aw, that was a beautiful answer," and then we all wait for Kim to say more.

[00:41:21] Louise: And there is no more.

[00:41:23] Nikki: But it was so lovely. It doesn't need anything else.

[00:41:26] Louise: Well, and I believe that is just a perfect way to wrap up our episode here today. And I want to thank Kim and everyone for really stepping into our space today. And I'm sending all my love and gratitude to my cohosts, Nikki, Sara, and Laura, and a great big squishy hug to Kim.

[00:41:47] Louise: Thank you for a beautiful conversation today. And most of all, I want to thank you listener for taking the time today to be very intentional here, around making time for yourself and connecting with us. Check out the show notes for all the links and the content mentioned here today. Thank you.

[00:42:05] Kim: Thanks for joining us today for another episode of The Best Parts Podcast. If you like what you heard today, we would love it if you would share this podcast on social media or with anyone else you think would enjoy it. After all sharing is caring. And be sure to leave a rating or review on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts, as it helps others find us. If you'd like to connect with us, you can find us on Instagram @thebestparts.com or head over to our website at thebestparts.podbean.com.

[00:42:36] Kim:  Thanks for listening. And until next time, remember that all of the parts are the best parts.